Brian is in Vegas with friends this weekend. Get home from work, put on pajamas, eat pretzels, chocolate chips, and cantaloupe for dinner, watch 30 Rock and Glee on Hulu, then finish off the night with some Britney Spears music videos before climbing into bed at 9:09.

I believe I spent my Friday night like any single girl does.

It's been worse, though. I could have been watching Sex in the City all night, then stayed up late putting together crazy tops and pants and adding belts and ridiculous shoes to outfits that were headed to the thrift store for good reason, OR I could have done an America's Next Top Model marathon and promptly dyed my hair an unflattering burgundy and cut some uneven bangs.

I think the only reason I miss college is because behavior like the above was excusable. The answer is no, you cannot wear three different colors of eyeliner to add dimension and intrigue; give it half an hour and you'll be wearing that green, blue, and purple as complementary hues for the already dark circles under your eyes.
As a side note, the other day while I was performing my afternoon tradition of wiping the cheap eye makeup off of the rest of my face (HOW does it TRAVEL??) I noticed that under the dark shadows cast by plebeians' mascara, my SKIN was the same color as the slate gray. I noticed again the next day as I marveled that the raccoon eyes had managed to stay on in the shower. Or just...my face managed to stay on in the shower. Raccoon eyes=my real eyes.

Anyways. Yikes, the single girl's blog is incredibly trivial. Whatever, the Nyquil's kicking in and in no way can I smell my margarita-scented candles, so it's a waste to sit up and type next to them. Bedtime. And now I'm going to pretend I'm going jogging when I wake up. Isn't this fun!